Birth Preferences



Hi << Test First Name >>



During your course, we discussed the importance of having a birth preferences sheet to give to your caregivers on the day, so they know who you are and what's important to you. It is essential for your caregivers to know this information when providing care and support for you through the birth process. It also provides a wonderful catalyst to ask questions and find out about certain policies within your birthplace.


If you find your caregiver is dismissive, with words like, “you can’t plan birth,” then firmly persist with your desire to communicate better with your caregivers to let them know your wishes and approach. Don’t give up 😊

Here is a link to a letter to your carers that explains what your needs are as a result of doing this course. Please feel free to use it as a starting point, and edit according to you and your needs, or start from scratch.

A few things to remember:

  • Short, sharp, and shiny (positive in tone)
  • Make it personal, so they get a sense of who you are and what is important to you both.
  • Keep it to one page – it is more likely to be read.
  • Keep your language positive and respectful, with the goal of building a relationship with your carers.
  • Keep it relevant to your time in the hospital.
  • Have a plan for caesarean and assisted vaginal deliveries (just in case).
  • Be flexible
  • Use questions on the card that was given to partners when assessing different approaches or making decisions.

Another possibility, which I highly recommend, is taking advantage of Transform Parenting's relationship with Care Midwifery. It is wonderful to have a relationship with two highly experienced midwives, who will not only help you get clear on options for the birth but can help you prepare for bringing the baby home. These sessions are bulk-billed under Medicare. See below for further details.

Also, here are a few thoughts on the importance of creating a birth preferences sheets, from the health professionals view, including, ‘informed consent,’ and the legal perspective: Read article here

Happy planning!

P.S - We would really appreciate if you spent a couple of minutes giving us a review on Facebook :)
 



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Perineal Massage
This is a perineal massage resource for you to use. Enjoy! 

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Some Further Planning



Hi << Test First Name >>



Set aside some time for some further planning – perhaps over a wine glass of sparkling water and a hint of lemon.

>>>Here is a list of questions to start the conversation<<<

Enjoy the process of getting clearer 

 

 

Why the Practices Are So Important

 

Hi <<Test First Name>>

What thoughts do you entertain about the practices? What habits do you and your partner have that currently could be getting in the way of committing to the practices? Now you have had the experience of transforming your birth through our program, I suspect you are thinking differently about what’s ahead, and you may even be feeling differently. If this is not the case, give it a little more time. With the practices, you start to form new thought patterns, which get reinforced over and over again. With new thoughts, come new feelings. New feelings mean that your biochemistry is changing. Your body is literally producing different peptides and messenger molecules that tell your body how to respond when it comes to your pregnancy and birth.


The messages you have flowing through your body are reprogramming your mind and body to respond differently.

 Let me read to you some feedback I received from one of my birthing women after she had her baby:

“Whilst I wasn't too strict on listening to the meditations just after the course, I did make an effort to listen to them every day especially in the weeks leading up to my due date. I'm not normally a meditation type of person but I really started to enjoy the relaxation part of the exercise and found your voice very soothing. I also loved visualising my uterus doing its job and visualising that moment when our baby was born made me feel so happy.”

Here is another one:

“I’m convinced the relaxations made a huge difference on the day. My first birth was excruciating, and whilst I liked the idea of less tension – less pain, I couldn’t really believe that I could be that lucky. It’s not luck at all, it’s the training. It came so natural on the day, and your voice just took me straight back to that place I knew so well. It wasn’t pain, it was pressure, but it was pressure that felt good and powerful and doable and productive. I kept saying to myself, yes – I can do this. It was like I was saying yes to each contraction. I’m a total convert and so grateful I had this experience to prove to myself I can do this. Also, I’ve been having trouble with painful breastfeeding and wanted to let you know that these relaxation techniques work just as well for feeding. I keep saying to myself, if I can birth this baby, I can feed it too. The mind is everything. Thank you so much for showing me the way. Forever grateful.” 

Here are some questions to consider:

  • Are these thoughts helpful to you and your goals or not?
  • What words and images can I choose instead?
  • What stops me from enjoying the practices? (Our mind moves towards the things we enjoy.)
  • What is the best time for me to do the practices daily?

Just some things for you to think about.

Sending you all lots of oxytocin.

 

 
 

 

 

 



A list for nesting and some homework



Hi << Test First Name >>



Here is a nice little summary of some thoughts for your nesting period.

I would also encourage you to look into the Spinning Babies website. It offers a fantastic and practical approach to creating ease and comfort in pregnancy and importantly making room for your baby so he or she can find a good position.

Many women find the Spinning Babies approach helpful during pregnancy as well as labour and birth.

Remember you can’t control this, but you can influence it 
 
>>>Visit the Spinning Babies Website Here<<<

This is also a great breech resource - Check it out here.

 



Calm Breathing



Hi << Test First Name >>



 

You can view this message on video or read below.



So how have you been breathing lately?
Have you been aware of your posture?
How often have you caught your mouth open?
Have you been actively slowing your breath down, or breathing more gently?

One of the things I am incredibly passionate about in my teaching is the breathing.

For the anxious, it’s like putting you back in the driver’s seat, of your own body – and steering yourself away from a default setting of flight/fight, ‘protection – like being chased by a tiger,’ and communicating to your body, that there is no threat. Every time you close your mouth, you have just told your body you are not under threat, just relax. You have also improved the amount of oxygen in your blood, which is so good for both you and bub. Remember if there are times when you cannot nose breathe, then use the mouth to back you up – no problem. Breathe as gently and slowly as you can through the mouth.

What about your posture?
Every time you straighten up and lengthen your posture, you have just released your jellyfish to pulse free of tension, promoting diaphragm breathing, and therefore getting more oxygen into your blood.

Every time you comfortably slow down your breathing, and breathe gently, not deeply, you have just improved oxygen levels in your blood. So simple, and doesn’t require us to control our breathing, as much as create the right conditions for our bodies to get more out of each breath.

Overtime, you are resetting the default setting in your brain, back to a calmer breathing pattern and breathing in the way your body is designed to breathe.

Pay attention to posture and nose breathing in your everyday life. You may even want to put little signs to help you remember to check your breathing. When you do the relaxations slow the breath down and breathe as gently as you can. So simple and so profoundly beneficial to you and bub.

Now, one more little hint. The breath is what leads us to the relaxation response, and so this will improve your ability to relax and go into deeper and deeper states of relaxation. When we travel that path of least resistance, where there is no tension, no resistance, no mind getting in the way – you are more likely to activate those feel-good hormones, in much greater amounts. You can’t lose – just open up those possibilities and see what’s possible.

Practice, practice, practice – calming your breath will lead you to being a calm mum, which will create a calmer bub. Enjoy the benefits of breathing in this powerful way.

Loving you all for your magnificence,

 

 



Relaxation is not my thing



Hi << Test First Name >>



 

You can view this message on video or read below.



Sometimes I hear feedback along the lines of “the relaxations are not really my thing.” That’s like saying, breathing is not really my thing. Your body needs you to breathe, and your body needs you to relax. When you take the foot off the accelerator, you can idle, cool down the engine, or turn the engine off for rest and repair. You cannot run a car all day every day in 4th gear – you will wear out your parts, and there would be no time to service the car.

We are the same. It is fundamentally necessary for you to be able to relax. Your belief – I’m not very good at this stuff, is the problem. The good news is, you can change your belief, and you can change or reprogram your stress response. That’s what we are helping you to do, not just for the birth, but for your own health – and by the way bub benefits too. You are also programming the ability to be relaxed into your baby – do you like that idea? Sure you do.

Ok, so if this is you – you’ve been resisting the practices – let me help you to shift your belief and your mindset about doing the practices.

The belief that I’m not very good at this, comes with a perception of what “this,’ looks like.

Let me demystify the relaxation process.

It is not meditation, and it’s not about stilling your mind.

It’s ok to be thinking, in fact you can watch those thoughts, and watch them go, or turn the volume down. Thoughts are like clouds in the sky, when we look at them, we think they are real and solid and fluffy like cotton wool. But when you go through them, you realise that they are not solid at all, they are just mist, that evaporates with a little heat. The you that is watching is more real than the actual thoughts. Don’t fight them or judge them, just watch them, or let them be in the background of your awareness.

Your job is to be ok with how you experience the practices by not judging them. It may take time but it will get better.

Sometimes people use other tracks to practice relaxation, and whilst that’s ok too – please keep using ours as well, as we are literally brain-washing (in a literal sense, cleaning out the old beliefs and replacing them with the new beliefs.

If you are continuing resisting them, try doing them just before you go to sleep, or when you wake up to pee. There is no effort required 😊

Remember, the messages that are in the tracks is not just working on your relaxation response, but your mindset and mindset is everything.

 

 



People Getting in Your Head and Making Decisions



Hi << Test First Name >>



 

You can view this message on video or read below.



I often get calls from people, who have gone back into their world after doing our program, and then get hijacked by other peoples ‘opinions,’ about what you should really be thinking or doing – which is what they think! This can come from friend’s family and even your medical professionals.

This can then recreate that doubt that you might have been plagued with before coming to us.

Your job is to cultivate the unshakeable undeniable belief in yourself – you CAN do this! Your body was designed to do this! You are still doing it, even if you need help! Anchoring yourself and your mindset in that belief creates confidence.

You cannot be confident if you allow other people free access to your mind and thoughts. Protect your mind and only give tickets for entry to those qualified, thoughtful and with relevant experience.

Putting the advice of family and friends in perspective is easier, because you know they have limited experience and they really only know what was right for them, and this may or may not be relevant for you, because every journey is different.

When it comes to health professionals it is a lot harder.

Now why is a confident mindset so important, and is this confident mindset not realistic when health professionals have a lot more knowledge and experience of what’s involved when helping us birth?

Here’s a surprising, but total truth. Different health professionals have different opinions. I was totally shocked by this realisation when was having my first son. I had one doctor giving me information about my pregnancy and what I should do, and another doctor from a different hospital giving me information that was in total opposition.

We think there is only one way, one truth about a situation, and only one approach, when in fact there are many – most of the time 😊

This is also true with midwives. They will all have their take on your situation, according to their training, experience, confidence, and knowledge. This is actually true for most professionals in all disciplines.

So where does this knowledge leave you?
Your job, as I have already stated, is to create a confident mindset. Here’s why:
Creating a confident mindset creates the fertile ground for good decision making, without being motivated by fear.

Decisions motivated by fear, typically lead to one choice. One way.

Decisions motivated by discernment, and clear thinking – open us up to many choices – and the ability to find the best way.

Your job is to make decisions based on your unique set of circumstances and what is right for you. Now that’s not always easy.

It can be easy to get lost in the ‘evidence.’

Let’s be clear, the evidence is based on research, about other women and babies, usually in different countries, and are being assessed on clear criteria that is measurable and reportable. There could have been other things going on for those women, that also contributed to their outcomes, that gets lost in the translation.

Science which collects the evidence, help us to see trends, and measure risks. This is absolutely useful, as long as the research team are free of agendas. High quality evidence should help to mould our policies and approach to birth, to get the best outcomes for mothers and babies. It’s great stuff!

But when it comes to you – how do you make the best decision?

Ask for the evidence and look for holes. Don’t just look at one side of the equation.

Now ask, what exactly do you know, what’s going on for me and my baby?

  • What are the signs that my baby is not doing so well?
  • What are the risks? What are the benefits?
  • What other options do we have in this situation?
  • What might happen if we didn’t do the procedure? Or waited?
  • These are the questions I gave you all on the back of my business card.
  • Now that’s addressing the rational, and logical way to make decisions – which I personally think is important, but I can’t finish this talk, without addressing another way of making decisions.

Go with your instincts.

I know that is easier said than done, but just think of a time when you just knew when you knew!
It is a feeling, it is usually instant, and sometimes defies logic.

When you have a confident mindset, you can usually tap into your gut instincts better. These gut instincts are really useful, and even your doctor or midwife will understand this. The wise ones learn very quickly to  listen to women when they know something is wrong.

So dear ones, do the practices as they will continue to support you to cultivate your confidence, and make better decisions.

You’ve got everything you need within you – your job now is to believe it! 😊

Loving you all,

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